Confessions of a Closet Tabloid Reader

This may come as a shock to some folks, but I am a closet tabloid junkie. Gawd, it took guts to admit it, but I am. This revelation comes from a person who has been a devote AM radio conservative talk show listener since the early days of Rush Limbaugh. Well, like Rush says, sometimes "you can best illustrate absurdity by being a bit absurd" . . . and maybe this is the case with me, I don't know.

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Tabloid magazines like In Touch, People, etc., are the ones I'm talking about . . . you know, the ones that make a great deal of fuss about Tori Spelling, Oprah, Paris Hilton, the Oslons, and a zillion other stars, starlets, silver spoons, and Hollywood types. What I find particularly amazing about this genre of magazine is the great lengths to which the contributing staffs will go to manufacture "news" in order to fill the pages between the covers of their magazines. I hit me the other day . . . who really reads these things!?! I suppose the answer to this question is wide open. I don't buy them, mind you, but I read them and carefully examine the contents of most articles . . . looking for something other than self promotion, gossip mongering, or mindless dribble.

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Here's a perfect example . . . In Touch, 20 June 2005, article - "Is Britney Gaining Too Fast?" As you may have guessed, an article devoted to Britney Spears who is developing quite the tummy as she carries her first child. Correct me if I'm wrong, maybe I missed something along the way, but I thought pregnant women not only developed a tummy bulge but also experienced a weight gain during the term. What Britney eats, and how much she chooses to eat is her business, don't you agree? Personally, I think the whole article falls into the category of "who gives a rat's ass" . . . but obviously this information is important to someone out there . . . and so another page is filled, another magazine is published, and I can't wait to read the next issues.

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More to follow . . . impressions of Tori Spelling and Paris Hilton . . . I promise they'll be a hoot to read!