Only in the movies . . .

It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building the characters are visiting.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.

Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.

Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty.

Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).

Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.

If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.

If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighborhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it's called Stallone's Law).

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).

Regardless of the situation (natural or man-made disaster) the actress emerges looking beauty shop perfect every time.