Driving to work this morning . . .

There's little doubt in my mind that just about everyone encounters at least one or two assholes on their daily commutes. Sharing the road with assholes is not one of my favorite moments in life. I can't begin to describe how many times I've re-invented my SUV in my mind, configuring it with all sorts of weapon systems with finger tip controls - the kind of stuff you'd like to have when some asshole cuts you off, or whose driving antics put you in unnecessary danger. I gotta believe I'm not alone, surely others share the same fantasy!

Second point, what are the odds that you will encounter over a dozen erratic drivers on a stretch of interstate highway at 4:30 a.m.? One right after another . . . almost like 7 truckers and 5 other good ole boys all closed a bar and hit the highway at the same time . . . say 4:20 a.m., taking different approach routes, but all merging onto the same interstate you happen to be traveling on this morning?

Third point, just like the planets aligning ever no and then, so it was with about dozen assholes this morning! The classic white knuckle moment - I'm doing 65 mph (posted limit), I have an 18 wheeler tailgating me, another one overtaking me, and an entrance ramp on my right with another 18 wheeler and 2 vehicles tailgating it as this nit wit surges forward in an attempt to get onto the interstate ahead of me and vehicles surrounding me! WTF?!? Yield signs must mean "go like hell an beat 'em" in some states. I can't help think that the bad reputation that some truckers have acquired is the results of asshole maneuvers sucj as this one!

Fourth point, my fist hurts like hell from pounding on the steering wheel.

Fifth point, if my SUV was "armed", I believe the road would be littered with smoking shredded metal and my blood pressure would be more like normal.

Sixth point, just when you think you've re-established a good space cushion between yourself and the rest of shit heads on the interstate, you know, that moment when you feel safe enough to raise the morning coffee mug from its holder and take a swig of Joe . . . another 18 wheeler, no lights on, parked on the shoulder of the road, decides to pull out into my lane, again - no lights on, no signal, no warning, and you do a quick evade to the left manuever to escape hitting them. WTF?!? Professional driver, my ass!

Seventh point, my chest burns from the coffee and my other fist hurts like hell. I may have hyper-extended my middle finger, too bad he couldn't see it the darkness.

Eight point, thank you Lord . . . for the guardian angel who rides along with me.

Nine point, .50 cal rounds with tracers would be pretty to watch as they seek their targets

Ten point, nah . . . missle systems would be far more effective!

Closing note . . . to all of you unkonown assholes I encountered this morning, ARGO (are go fuck yourselves)!